my sweet honey.
im so afraid so so afraid that everything will just go wrong tmr.
my feelings for you are so true since day one.
the recent incident im really sorry
im stupid the most useless person on earth
for not using my brain and think.
now im asking myself
what do i really want.
im thinking bout everything that happened.
seriously now im tinking whether do i really deserve your love.
should i be selfish and still have you by my side.
or should i let you go.
i love you too much to let you go.
but i think when the time comes.
if you are meant to go you will be gone from my life.
i know now i say everything also too late le.
but i really did cherish you and love you right from the start.
i have never never never love anyone else before
who is there for me when i need someone now.
the reason i want you to stay today is cause
i wanna see you for one last time.
in case anything happens and im left with no more time with you.
i have never felt so pathetic in my life when someone say break to me.
you are the one who made me like that.
you say you felt like the biggest fool.
let me tell you.
im the biggest fool for making such a decision in the first place.
if you are to leave me.
i will respect your decision.
as i have done you wrong.
you gave me everything that i needed.
but i did nothing.
how can i assure you that i really will change.
i think even if you still want me in your life.
i doubt your friends will want it to be.
cause i have hurt you deeply.
looking at time and counting down to tmr.
the day that decides everything.
how i wish swan just zham me just now.
im the one who shld hope that the sun,the moon the meteorlite and everything just drop on me
i really feel so ashame to face everyone now.
its all my fucking damn fault.
when will i ever learn my lesson?
after i lose everything?
sighs..
looking at you now and not being able to hold you tight makes me wanna die.
i rather you take the pen knife and stab me if you are gonna leave me.
i can lose everything and anything but you.
you are just so freaking important too me.

if im to say now.
i lead her on for a reason.
and that reason is that i didnt want her to go with swan
swan is falling deep into her.
i dont want to see swan sad and devasted.
knowing that she have not settled down.
i dont want her to hurt swan.
im keeping quiet bout everything now.
i dont want anyone to know anyting.
cause i say now is nothing to everyone.
i broke everybody's trust.
i can only say sorry for everything.
i didnt meant for things to be this way
i was waiting for the time when things can be explained
then i say it out.
that's why the massages are saved.
forget it.
nothing can be trust from what i say anymore.
let it be then..

from the bottom of my heart
i only love mich and only mich.
never had i get you off my mind.
i have never fall for any other ple when im with you my dear.
i think i just need to built that trust back.
i really cant lose you
rmb when i say
if you were to go overseas.
im to wait for you
and i mean it.
i really do mean it from the bottom of my heart.
brothers are gone.
friends are gone
the trust in all of you are gone.
you?i dunno.gone soon?
i hope not.
sighs.
days without you will be weird indeed.
sighs.

im sorry everyone.
sorry swan.
im not worth to call myself your brother anymore.
sorry darius sorry nick sorry cynthia.
i know if mich were to leave me.
all of you will take care of her well.
im doing nothing at all to make her happy.
feeling so helpless now.
that's why from now till tmr.
i will try to do everything i can now for her.
i know its too late already.
but im trying hard to do everything i can now.

honey,
i really cant lose you
i love you.
if you leave.
im really gonna miss you.
my days will be filled with sadness
now i dont dare to sleep you know
i really very scare i close my eyes and when i open it you are gone.
and i also wanna hug you tight now
but i cant do anything now.
i really wan you to hold me like how you always do.
i really wanna know what's your answers.
you cant live without your friends.
they hates me now.
what are you gonna do.
i really hate to see you this way.
sighs.
you say you hate me just now and ask me to dont touch you and go away
my heart really very painful.
i really dont know what to do.
all i wanted to do was to calm you down.
but you ask me to go away
sighs.
hold me like how you always do.
i really need you.
i love you baby.
iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.iloveyou.
i really need you badly.
i really do..............
im dying now.
im really dying nw.