my sweet mich honey.
by the time you read this post.
i think i should either be crying or sleeping or doing dunno what ting.
i know you are angry with me now.
you shouted at me over the phone.
im sorry for making you worry and cry.
i really tried hard to hold back my tears.
but i cant do it.
im just so fragile these few days.
i neeed you now.
i wanna hug you like friday night and cry.
i need a shoulder now.
dont say that i need amanda on my birthday only
dont forget my the wish that i made on saturday.
the three wishes.
first is for me and you.hope me will last long and be happy tgt.
second is for amanda and me to be okaes and i want her to be happy.
third one is for everyone ard me to be happy.
my dear i love you.
i really do.
please dont tink so much.
im having too much things to worry and care about.
i dont want a strain in our relationship.
you ask if you and amanda who will i choose.
i chose and you say wait till that thing really happen then say.
please my dear.
i wun fall for amanda again.
she is just a very very good friend that i cant lose.
you say that if she not fate to be my frend then be it.
but you should know my attitude and character.
i wun let it be tis way.
i mus win fate.
i must prove that fate is nth.
sorry for everything.
dun tink so much can not.
you were really very harsh on your words just now.
but you cried.
it hurt me too.
but i just cant control my tears.
i have not eaten yet.
wanted to eat.
but tings happened.
staring at the food and crying.
a salty chicken rice that will be.
drinking now.
parents not in.
can i just get drunk and escape from reality.
if you dont wish to celebrate my birthday and dont wish to care for me anymore then i gt nth to say.
i can only say im really really very sorry for everything now.

baobei..
can i know what all this means?
i ask you why then you say it all to late.
things are all never to late.
things can be changed.
im not your best baobei anymore.
i disappoint you and make you sad.
i know i didnt cherish you.
baobei.
are you gonna let all these affect us?
its my birthday tmr.
im not enjoying a singel second of it at all.
i think tmr water parade.
i will just let them pour all they want.
i want to wake up from all these things.
IT MY GOD DAMN IT BIRTHDAY TMR.
and nth is cheering me up.
you say tmr you wan see me happy.
i promise you.
i ask you whether you will talk to me tmr
you say no,never again.
do you know how i feel not.
what's with the decision?
hearing the songs makes me tink and tink.
the promise i made to you.
try my best to do it.
sighs.
hope you will come back to my life and start like how we were before.

lijie mei
thanks for being there for me.
i know that i have an extra listening ears.
dont worry
when i need one i will find you
when the time comes dont regret.
cause i will just flood your shirt.
be prepared okaes.
very soon...
thanks for listening to every shit i say.
you are one person who i say so much too other then amanda they all.
i trust you alot.
dun ever break my trust.
sorry for making you worry.
i think im fine.
i dont know what to do now.
sighs.
just let me be.
im sorry for everyting.

dorcas ahyi.
im sorry for making you worry.
i really dont know what to do now.
im lost in my own world.
im sorry for making all of you worry.
i dont wish to be a burden to you all.
stop being sad cause of me.
im sorry for all these.
amanda wants to give up on me le.
sighs.
cry cry cry.
hahas.
hahas.
im so happy im so happy now.
im not sad im not sad.
im over the moon now arhs.
-cries-
when can all these things stop.
i really cant take it le.
everything is crashing down on me.
trying all my best to cheer up.
but i cant.
ahyi im sorry for everyting.

eleisa jie.
thanks for being there for you when i need you.
take care of yourself oso okaes.
sorry for throwing my temper at you.
i just didnt feel good after all those things.
thanks for the advices.
you mus keep calm too okaes.
your things just hack larhs.
if leong say anyting then telll me ok.
i go scold them.
i dont want the people around me to get bullied or get say.
thanks jie.
im sorry for everything.
thanks for caring for me.

chun and bella jie.
sorry for all these attitude that im showing now.
but i cant help it.
i know you all want to help me.
i know you all feel pek chek when seeing me beating things when im upset.
thanks for consoling me and giving me all the advices.
but im just sorry for all these nonsense trouble that im causing.
im sorry.

to all those people who care.
im sorry for giving this farking face nowadays
im controlling my temper.
trying to not flare up already.
sorry everybody!
i know tmr is my birthday but i dont tink i have the mood.
if i just flare up suddenly.
please understand.
im sorry im really sorry.
thanks everybody.
dont worry for me anymore.
i dont wish to be a burden to anyone.

to HER**
im sorry.
but i can only say.
i think soon i need to give up and you need to find someone else to confide in.
cause im losing it already.
im going crazy for all these nonsense.
i think the best way to stop all these is for me to give up on helping you.
they say you backstab me so many times why am i still helping u.
its not out of pity.
its cause you are my frend.
that's why.
but after hearing so much stories bout you from so many different people.
i dont know what to do.
everybody is asking me to give up on you.
i think i should just give up on you.
i need amanda more then you.
sighs.
im sorry girl.
please take good care of yourself.
stop hitting the wall
stop hurting yourself.
not that i dont want you to care for me.
but just that i dont wan to be your burden.
i will still be there for you.
but not always.
only if anything big happen then i will help.
im sorry for everything.
actually nobody can help you.
only you can help youself.
im sorry.
im really sorry.

p.s. trying to be independent now.but i failed. )':